Gebara Chapter 2 – Evil and Gender
“What constitutes Humanity – the creative differences between the sexes – is one of the special locations in which Evil demonstrates its work . . . why have these men and women who need one another established a hierarchy based on their bodies and started a kind of war in their relationships? And why does this relation between bodies, the site of good and evil, become, especially for women , a place of crucifixion and a place of exclusion?” (pg 67)
I suppose there’s maybe something to the thought that people like to feel like they don’t need anyone – that, in needing someone else, they’re admitting that they’re incapable in some way. And that, to assuage their feelings of impotence, they then put the blame of that feeling onto the person (gender) that they need – which, by necessity, leads to discord.
Could it be as simple as that? I know that I really don’t like to feel like I need someone else to reach fulfillment in my life. Yet I do know this: without a man, I wouldn’t have my amazing children who make everything in life “worth it”. Being divorced and single at the moment, I also don’t like to admit that I crave an intimate connection with a reciprocating man. But I do. Do I need one, though? I dunno – does the need (and I’m talking NEED, not "want") go beyond procreation?
Ok – then this question comes to me: All of the “experts” on happiness also say that Humans need a connection to God if they aspire to reach a true pinnacle of joy and satisfaction in their lives. So, why, in the name of God, are we using institutions created for the sole purpose of building/strengthening a relationship with him/her as the very conduits of our crucifixion of each other? (And although in the interest of being accountable I’m tempted to insist that the torture goes equally both ways, it’s pretty historically –and presently – apparent that the majority of the malevolent behavior is coming from men in that arena).
What gives?
Great, thought-provoking post.
ReplyDeletePoint 1 seems to be related to the desire we have for companionship. Aristotle said that we are political animals. This has nothing to do with politics in the modern sense of the term. The Greek root for political is polis, meaning city. We live in proximity to each other to gain mutual benefit - I will make shoes, you grow wheat, someone else runs the metal shop - that kind of thing. That way I don't have to spend time doing something I don't have the talent for, and I can specialize my efforts in my chosen area which makes what I do more important and valuable (and marketable).
But I think it goes beyond that. We live close to each other because we need each other. We need relationships to give our life added meaning. I am able to share my experiences with others, gaining from their experience as well, and all are benefited. It entails some sacrifice of personal freedoms - I am not free to do whatever I want lest I offend others and their sense of morality - but what is gained is synergistic strengthening of all. So it's worth it.
And on an inter-personal level, on a very, very personal level, we need someone who will give us the support we crave. When we do not have it, something is missing, like a leg or arm is gone. Sure, we can still function, but it's just not complete.
For me, having my wife with me completes me in ways that are impossible to quantify. Without turning this into a mushy exposition of my feelings for her, suffice it to say that I need her to make up for imperfections and weaknesses that I have. She is exactly what I need in every conceivable way. She is not, however, necessarily what I think I want on occasion. But there can be no doubt that she is what I need. I need her like I need oxygen, not like I need an ice cream sandwich... ;-)
Point 2 seems to be regarding the need for God. I wonder about that. I believe that people need an ideal to shoot for, something that reflects the higher goals and aspirations we desire. We also need God to help explain the inexplicable, to help bring order to the chaos and to provide meaning to seemingly random occurrences. Yet not all have the same God, and many have no "God" at all (Buddhists are probably the best known group). The Buddha has no special or magical abilities, he's just a person who has achieved the highest and best he could, and who has shown others the path to this achievement, if they desire. He is higher than us, but he is not a God in the traditional, Judeo-Christian sense of the term.
Institutionalized religious misogyny is a very loaded topic. I have a friend who is studying the history of the US who said that the more she studies about it the less proud she is to be a part of it. I think that's because as we learn the less-savory parts of our historical religious traditions we come to understand that many, many atrocities have been perpetuated in the name of God (or patriotism) that cast doubt on the legitimacy of the whole construct. I would just suggest this - we are not bound by the mistakes of the past. Hopefully we can learn from them and strive each day to make things a little better. In the full light of our post-modern understanding, it is clear that what was (is) done is nothing short of diabolical (pun intended). Yet the people living in that historical moment had no such light - they were just doing the best they could given the tools they were given. Perhaps we could cut them a little slack... For ourselves, however, we should offer no quarter for those who perpetuate darkness and oppression...
I would agree that as social creatures, we do *need* one another. There are different levels of human connection that we all need in order to live happy, healthy and balanced lives.
ReplyDeleteI think about our goddess sisterhood and our sisters in general meeting on Tuesdays - and then marvel that in Kenya women also form into tight-knit, gossipy groups :) It's a feature of the human race for women to behave that way - to be social and to seek out certain types of relationships. Men have their own social tendencies that are gender-specific, and then there are the intergender relations that are important to all of us. I think it's biology.
On a kinda side-note, though, I have to admit that it's hard for me to connect with the feminist literature/themes in your blog lately. Just to let you know. I'm not sure how I feel about feminism, and though there has been oppression and there continues to be, I feel a disconnect with the feminist movement itself - I more of a humanist than a feminist I guess, and I want equal treatment of all human beings, women and others. So I guess that the feminist theme feels ... like a self-absorbed issue ... in light of all of the other human rights violations that also exist in the world. Hmmm...I'm just putting this down for the first time, still thinking it through...
Thanks Bud Light! Yeah - the feminism thing is getting kinda old, huh! That it's a primary topic in my blog right now is due to the fact that I'm reading A LOT of it for my class. (I do enjoy a little Sista' Power talk now and then, but -like any over-expressed topic- when that's all there is it gets kinda lame.)
ReplyDelete(And, actually, this gooder-badder post was an attempt to NOT be feminist-specific...oops, guess that came across as an epic FAIL ...) :)
So, as I said, I really enjoyed it when I started, but I'm starting to "get over it" too. In fact, during our lecture the other day, I interrupted the professor and extolled the virtues of being a woman and listed all of the ways that *men* are not appreciated, either.
I DO believe women are still subjugated far too much and that institutions such as religion are excellent perpetuaters of the unfortunate under-appreciation of women, but I also agree with you ... NOBODY has it easy all the time - and some folks NEVER have it easy. We ALL deserve a little more credit, a little more love, and a few more oases of "salvation" on our trek.