For whatever reason, I am not being able to post this as a reply to your comment, Beerconomist, on my Socialization... post. So ... I'll put it here as a post of its own. Rock on!!
For me, to "be the change" is to embody a full acknowledgment and appreciation of the diversity and complementarity of each person's role. To define the principle of "fair" as being: every person experiencing what will serve her/him best in the context that s/he can best serve humanity in return.
We've been discussing Plato's Republic in my Ancient Philosophy class. In it, he takes great pains to critically and finitely define "justice". If considering that Justice and Fairness are synonymous, my above-mentioned definition serves as a terrific launching point from which to refine my personal definition of justice. I have not finished The Republic yet ... I'll let you know how this definition-working progresses as I explore the many many definitions Socrates works through.
Men and women do have strengths and abilities that differ by sex. That reality has been empirically proven time and time again with both animal and human subjects. The problem as I see it is that one (woman) has been deemed, socially, to be inferior to the other (man). To live MY life as an empowered, centered and contributing citizen, and to seek out and appreciate those qualities in everyone around me will, I hope, dispel some of the gender disparity my children witness from other people.
This applies to your question about sexuality: Yes, as a heterosexual mother, my preference for a male sexual partner will definitely influence what my children think is "normal". However, how I reference and behave around/toward homosexual people will *also* shape their perception of what is "normal". If my children witness me living my belief that people are free to choose physical intimacy within whichever man/woman combo they prefer, and the fact that I choose a 1-man + 1-woman combo is no more than a matter of personal preference, they're still open to choose from the full plate of options while NOT feeling like any sort of deviant ... Yeah?
The way our society treats traditionally female positions is a powerful indicator of what we Americans value. And social norms are inherently based on what a society values - and these norms, naturally, perpetuate themselves. In this, I believe that our nation has simply lost sight of what "true" priorities are. Billions of dollars are spent on entertainment and on buying politicians, while just a small fraction of that is spent on "public servants".
Note that there are a significant number of male nurses, male teachers, female cops and female firefighters these days. I think that this particular piece of socialization is more specifically due to our lack of discernment between what perpetuates a glorious society and what perpetuates the *image* of a glorious society. Though the disparity was originally based on gender, these days it seems to have shifted to an issue of classism and distorted values.
And what can I do in regards to "being the change"? Turn off the TV. Stop paying more money for Dish Network EVERY MONTH than I donate to the firefighter's *annual* fundraiser. (Well, actually, as you know, my children and I don't watch TV ... some of these suggestions are unabashedly meant for other members of our society who may be reading this post looking for information they can implement into their lives). I can praise how amazing that police officer is for keeping our town peaceful instead of calling her/him a 'pig' while gazing doe-eyed at Johnny Depp and Snookie. I can spend as much time volunteering at my child's school as I do frittering away on Facebook, and I can *honor* myself for being willing to take a financial "hit" in order to fulfill the TREMENDOUSLY valuable role of Mother. Finally, *while* mothering, I can be an ACTIVE mother who fills my children's holistic needs - those beyond their basic survival necessities of food, clothing and shelter - by respecting them as persons, by spending quality time with them, by assuring them repeatedly that I am luckier than any person alive because I get to be THEIR mama. (Note: I am not suggesting that a woman MUST be a stay-at-home mama if she prefers to entrust her children to a loving caretaker and to participate in the workforce ... and I can keep that option open for my children by also honoring that woman's choice)
Maybe also I can just refuse to acknowledge that money is in any way an accurate measure of value ... and to teach *that* to them with not only my words but with the example of my lifestyle. I can be PROUD to be a non-consumer. I can ENJOY keeping a garden. I can DELIGHT in BEING CREATIVE with limited resources. And I can show them that life is FUN, RICH and REWARDING when living it in that paradigm by loving my life.
Still tied in knots my Bestie Beer Buddy?
For me, to "be the change" is to embody a full acknowledgment and appreciation of the diversity and complementarity of each person's role. To define the principle of "fair" as being: every person experiencing what will serve her/him best in the context that s/he can best serve humanity in return.
We've been discussing Plato's Republic in my Ancient Philosophy class. In it, he takes great pains to critically and finitely define "justice". If considering that Justice and Fairness are synonymous, my above-mentioned definition serves as a terrific launching point from which to refine my personal definition of justice. I have not finished The Republic yet ... I'll let you know how this definition-working progresses as I explore the many many definitions Socrates works through.
Men and women do have strengths and abilities that differ by sex. That reality has been empirically proven time and time again with both animal and human subjects. The problem as I see it is that one (woman) has been deemed, socially, to be inferior to the other (man). To live MY life as an empowered, centered and contributing citizen, and to seek out and appreciate those qualities in everyone around me will, I hope, dispel some of the gender disparity my children witness from other people.
This applies to your question about sexuality: Yes, as a heterosexual mother, my preference for a male sexual partner will definitely influence what my children think is "normal". However, how I reference and behave around/toward homosexual people will *also* shape their perception of what is "normal". If my children witness me living my belief that people are free to choose physical intimacy within whichever man/woman combo they prefer, and the fact that I choose a 1-man + 1-woman combo is no more than a matter of personal preference, they're still open to choose from the full plate of options while NOT feeling like any sort of deviant ... Yeah?
The way our society treats traditionally female positions is a powerful indicator of what we Americans value. And social norms are inherently based on what a society values - and these norms, naturally, perpetuate themselves. In this, I believe that our nation has simply lost sight of what "true" priorities are. Billions of dollars are spent on entertainment and on buying politicians, while just a small fraction of that is spent on "public servants".
Note that there are a significant number of male nurses, male teachers, female cops and female firefighters these days. I think that this particular piece of socialization is more specifically due to our lack of discernment between what perpetuates a glorious society and what perpetuates the *image* of a glorious society. Though the disparity was originally based on gender, these days it seems to have shifted to an issue of classism and distorted values.
And what can I do in regards to "being the change"? Turn off the TV. Stop paying more money for Dish Network EVERY MONTH than I donate to the firefighter's *annual* fundraiser. (Well, actually, as you know, my children and I don't watch TV ... some of these suggestions are unabashedly meant for other members of our society who may be reading this post looking for information they can implement into their lives). I can praise how amazing that police officer is for keeping our town peaceful instead of calling her/him a 'pig' while gazing doe-eyed at Johnny Depp and Snookie. I can spend as much time volunteering at my child's school as I do frittering away on Facebook, and I can *honor* myself for being willing to take a financial "hit" in order to fulfill the TREMENDOUSLY valuable role of Mother. Finally, *while* mothering, I can be an ACTIVE mother who fills my children's holistic needs - those beyond their basic survival necessities of food, clothing and shelter - by respecting them as persons, by spending quality time with them, by assuring them repeatedly that I am luckier than any person alive because I get to be THEIR mama. (Note: I am not suggesting that a woman MUST be a stay-at-home mama if she prefers to entrust her children to a loving caretaker and to participate in the workforce ... and I can keep that option open for my children by also honoring that woman's choice)
Maybe also I can just refuse to acknowledge that money is in any way an accurate measure of value ... and to teach *that* to them with not only my words but with the example of my lifestyle. I can be PROUD to be a non-consumer. I can ENJOY keeping a garden. I can DELIGHT in BEING CREATIVE with limited resources. And I can show them that life is FUN, RICH and REWARDING when living it in that paradigm by loving my life.
Still tied in knots my Bestie Beer Buddy?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletedo comments finally work here? if you see this, then yes, they do ...
ReplyDeleteHeterosexual tendencies are important - it's how we got here, after all. The thing is not to disparage anyone for their beliefs, regardless of how different from ours they may be.
ReplyDeleteThere is no gender, only sex.